Today, I am sad. And I have been sad for few days now. I know where the problem is and what is causing it, but I also blame hormones. It is crazy how much we can be influenced by what someone says, does or acts. And that is exactly what I’m dealing with right know. I am trying to understand, but I don’t understand. I am trying to be cool about it, but my head will soon explode. So that’s why I’m writing this. I need to write down my sadness, so I can relief my brain and be happy again.
As a women, I tend to think a lot. You know, it is what we do. By overthinking things, I tend to make assumptions. I tend to “rewatch” my actions and words from certain situations in order to analyse it more and more. And that is where I just simply bump into the wall. We all tend to make assumptions, it is natural, but sometimes those assumptions can go through the roof and we act like crazy. And I refuse to make myself look like a fool (I am natural weirdo, so I don’t mind when I look like a fool in a funny/embarrassing situations, but this is not one of those moments). So what I am trying to say is respect others, their own time and plans and don’t make them feel like idiots. Be straightforward and honest, because even though your words can hurt, it is for your and their own best to just “say it”. Oh gosh, this has gotten out of my hands.
Last night, I told myself that I will wake up and I won’t be sad anymore, I will be happy and not thinking about “this thing” any longer. But here I am. Sitting in my bed, watching Ted talk with a title “It’s not you, it’s my hormones Testosterone Influences” and thinking how amazing and crazy our bodies are. I mean hormones! Good god! Womens and hormones can be a very danger combination, but that's the beauty of life.
So the question is…do I feel better now? A little bit, but I still want to hug someone and talk my feelings out of my head.